9 Ways to get Unstuck in Your Business by Kyle Kirschbaum, Presidential Diamond
There is a saying that I have thought about almost everyday over the past five years we have been building our doTERRA® business: “Dream. Struggle. Succeed.” How interesting is it that most of us focus on our dreams and success, but we don’t focus much on the place where we spend most of our time, the struggle. It’s almost like we just want to skip the struggle, the fight, the growth—the most important part. As we talk about this subject of being stuck, I want you to let down your walls, be willing to look at yourself, and recognize that we are all in the struggle.
Although there is a great truth in taking massive action when you are stuck, I believe there is more to it than that. Just like an arrow has to be pulled back before it can be launched towards its target, we have to look within ourselves before we can get back on track.
Key #1: Evaluate: how did you get where you are?
One of my favorite quotes is from Earl Nightingale: “All of us are self-made, but only the successful will admit it.” So, are you having a hard time attracting the type of people you really want to work with? Are your classes empty? Are you not progressing like you thought you would? I have heard many times that we are either growing through it or we are going through it, and if we are not learning something then we will never move past it.
When I was in my early twenties, I started a business with all the love and excitement that only a young entrepreneur can have. I was naïve to the idea of failure. I poured my heart and soul into that business and over the course of a decade I grew and learned so much about myself and my path. Then, just as everything was climbing to its pinnacle, the business crumbled, and I was left feeling hate. Everywhere I went my story always ended with, “It just wasn’t fair.” Even after I started new businesses, I was still telling new partners the same story. I was refusing to grow through and was still going through it. Stop telling your “it’s not fair” story and you’ll find that you become bigger and better because of it.
Key #2: Forgive, grow, and let it go.
Things are going to happen to you. Maybe someone says something to you in a way that offends you. Maybe a product shows up and something’s wrong. Maybe that person you have always wanted to work with decides not to work with you. If we want to become all that we can, we have to step over it and let it go.
I remember when I finally accepted this concept, it allowed me to accept the path that had been laid out before me—dōTERRA. It allowed me to recognize the miracle that God works in our lives to help us truly pursue our greatness.
We all have our stories to tell about why we are stuck, but choose to let your setback be a setup for a comeback.
Key #3: When you are in a slump stick with the plan.
Most people know that Michael Jordan has hit more game-winning shots than anyone else in NBA history, but did you know he has also missed the most? Even professional athletes get into slumps. Do they go back to the bench and quit? No, they shoot through the slump. When you are pursuing a rank like Diamond and things are not happening like you want, have faith in the process, have faith in your daily habits, and have faith in the oils. Stay busy, create a plan, and after you have evaluated yourself, get back to work using the things that have worked for you before.
Key #4: Find someone who needs help and serve them.
The quickest way to stop thinking about ourselves is to serve others. Help someone and you will help yourself. Selfishness lies at the root of being dissatisfied with our lives. When we can look beyond our own desires and find a way to help others meet their potential, we tap into one of the most powerful lifelines we can find to get unstuck. dōTERRA provides us with such an incredible opportunity to do that because every sample we give, every AromaTouch we perform, and every experience we share empowers others. It brings them hope. When we place our focus here, we receive the gift of seeing in others the joy we are seeking.
Key #5: Discipline your emotions.
We are all emotional beings, but if we can’t be disciplined with our emotions they can control us negatively. In one of my favorite books, “As A Man Thinketh,” James Allen compares our minds to a garden and points out that weeds don’t need any encouragement to grow. They don’t need water or sunlight, and you will find weeds growing everywhere—even in a crack of a sidewalk. If we want to grow something beautiful like a rose, it’s a process. It takes discipline and focused effort. So it is with our lives and our dōTERRA businesses. Our naturally human default setting doesn’t need any help being negative, blaming others, and even hating. But, if we are going to rise above that, cultivate leadership, and change who we are, we have to make a declaration to ourselves that we will be in control. We have to be in control despite Murphy’s law knocking on our door, and despite things not going our way. We have to be in control and better no matter what we encounter.
Key #6: Expect things to get better for you.
Sometimes we let our limited perspective blind us from seeing that life is cyclic. What ever is happening to you now has not come to stay, it will pass. Most importantly never come up with a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
Key #7: Work on yourself.
I have always had a great passion for motivational books, stories of people overcoming odds, listening to speakers I wanted to emulate, and just flat out improving myself. I often picture these audios, books, and positive thinking as the lashings that hold me on to a boat that is caught in the middle of a storm. We need these things to stay strong and become who we are meant to be.
Key #8: Take responsibility for where you are.
You are completely responsible for where you are, just like you are completely responsible for where you want to go. So accept that truth. Own it. This concept has defined our lives, especially our journey in doTERRA. I remember when we were driving away from our beautiful home and moving into my parents’ house—I felt depressed. I felt like I had fallen behind on my dreams and “it wasn’t fair.” A short time later, my wife shared a quote with me from Dennis Waitley that opened our hearts to a new possibility: “There are two primary choices in life, to accept conditions as they exist or accept responsibility for changing them.” Tell yourself: “If I got myself in this, I can get myself out.” I have noticed time and time again that those who succeed look for the circumstances that they want, and if they can’t find them, they create them. But, probably the hardest part of getting to this point is recognizing that your strategies and your behavior patterns are not working. Sometimes this means that you need to reinvent yourself, but you have the power to do so.
Key #9: Find some trusted critics.
I believe that one of the greatest gifts that we can have in life are friends who love us enough to tell us the truth and risk our friendship to help us grow. We can always find people who, when we ask, will tell us what we want to hear. They will agree with us and tell us what we did well. I’m not saying that we don’t want these people in our lives. We need them as well. But, when you are stuck, when you are falling behind on your dreams, and your strategies and efforts are not yielding the results you want, you better hope you have a friend that is willing to put it all on the line and be truthful because they love you. I will forever be grateful for those who figuratively grabbed me by the collar, shook me, and said, “Kyle, wake up! You are better than this. You can do more. You can be more.”
Life has an incredible way of steering us toward the struggles that, when handled with grace, can turn us into the leaders that we need to become. You have an incredible power within you to get unstuck, to know that things will get better, and to know it can be handled. Don’t ever quit when you’re stuck, because those before you would tell you that the breakthrough is just on the other side and it is worth it.